Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.