when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.