I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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