I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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