I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
