I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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