Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
