You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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