Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
