I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
