still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
