whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
