just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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