What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
