Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
