Cold hands, warm shart.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
