I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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