In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
