She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
