thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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