So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
