Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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