i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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