I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
