Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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