I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
