2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
