Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize