There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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