So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.