I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
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I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You've changed since you got that strap on
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize