benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
