I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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