she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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