My sheets look like a crime scene.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
