You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
