i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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