yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
