...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
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so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
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It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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