yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
