Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Randomize
