I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He better not be in your backpack
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
