I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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