I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
