I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize