someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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