love makes seman taste better
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
