I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
