five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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