dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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