He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
