i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
