I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
