my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
