HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Pants are for mortals
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
