Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
