This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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