Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize