The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
