Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
