I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize