Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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