Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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