I think my vagina is haunted
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection