my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.