That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?