i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
